everythings been towards a negative pull lately. everything. there are moments when i laff and smile and i feel like all this negativity will just go away, but it hasn't. it seems like im being followed ... being watched or tested. like if i don't do the right thing this entity of some sort will just make it worse. i don't know where my place is in life. im so confused. i've been feeling this for the past few days and didn't know what to do about it. now that i'm at my dad's it's not helping at all. he said some hurtful things. that's something i didn't get from him. i have respect for people. i know other people have feelings and i won't trample all over them like they don't. well now that i'm here i feel .... i feel cut off from my life source. i feel drained. like i can't do anything without feeling right. but i knew it would end up like this anyway.
i can't do this without you guys. kotine, lorena, gerald ... and even my mom.
... it's killing me ...
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